I have been thinking about what it would take to build a love that could last a lifetime. A code that would be easy to use for both partnering and parenting. Here is what I came up with. Only three simply rules.
# 1 - Let me be who I am and support me in my growth. Accept me as is but don’t hesitate to help me improve myself in areas I struggle. Offer to me the chance to grow and learn something about myself and others. Point out to me when you think I could do something better but do so lovingly and without attack. Offer to me a suggestion but let me use my own free will to decide if I want to change. Don’t try to change something about me just because you don’t like it. Accept that we are different and those differences enrich our lives and relationships.
# 2 - Communicate and correct the wrongs and hurts as they happen. Communicate to me when something I have done has hurt you. Allow me the chance to correct my wrongs and keep them from occurring again. No matter how hard it is to do, you must tell me when I hurt you; I can’t read your mind. I will communicate the same to you and do so in a respectful manner. I will not yell at you, I will speak to you. I expect that you will listen.
# 3 – Remember that all love is helpless and delicate and it requires care. Much like a flower, love provides great rewards and much joy if you care for it. But if you forget to feed and water it, it will fade and die. It is forever dependent on protection and nutrients if it is to survive. Time and attention will keep it alive forever.
I tried to come up with something more that you had to have to build and keep a loving relationship that will last a lifetime but everything I came up with linked back to one of these three things. Could it really be that simple?
