How do you tell someone the realty of how complex your life has been. How do you reveal yourself at a deeper level to friends, partners, current and future family members without causing them to banish you to the no Christmas card list. Of course I wonder what people will think, of course I wonder how my reality will impact their opinion of me, of course I suspect they will judge my clumsy past transgressions as merit of my future choices. Regardless I will never forget how far I have come and how hard I had to work to get here today.
On this journey I have determined there are two types of people in the world, those who put their not so perfect history in a neat little box, set it carefully on the basement floor and place a dragon next to the box to forever protect it's contents and those who dig deep into those not so perfect histories looking for answers, lessons and the power to overcome the past. I am choosing the latter and forever banish the former from my life. I have expereinced a good deal of struggle in my short life and have seen even more in my role as a foster parent, domestic violence advocate and court appointed special advocate (CASA) for children. Each of these roles has shapped my vision of how incredible the power of the human spirt is to overcome. They are my inspiration for providing children with the tools they require to navigate their own lives and overcome and perserve against all the odds.
To serve and protect is not reserved for only the armed forces or the law. It is a role we choose to play. My great- grandfather came from Germany and as a sheriff he served and protected the people. My grandfather served in the war and my grandmother was involved in politics and education. I am the living legacy of those who have come before me and I will not fail to take the same vow to serve and protect.
In my role to serve and protect I have founded a non-profit to teach children self respect and resiliance. To teach empathy and respect for others. Without those things our ability to protect ourselves greatly limits our capacity to serve and protect others.
Visit Prevention As A Cure at www.preventionasacure.org
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
The power of anger
I have never been comfortable with expressions of anger, but I am working toward personal acceptance. Learning to appreciate anger is not a simple task. I suspect it is not at the top of most people’s agenda. As someone who values peace, positive resolution, and respect, it would seam ironic that anger has worked its way onto my character development repertoire.
I have built my life upon values that banish anger and promote peaceful resolution and yet I come to realize that anger is part of the spectrum of healthy emotion. I have also come to realize that anger is force to be reckoned with; a force that can be used for good instead of evil. Anger when strong enough can fuel the movement toward positive change. I would much rather rein and direct the power of anger toward effective growth than remain hurt and in pain over something I can do nothing about. I am quickly discovering that anger when properly harnessed can be far more effective and powerful than perhaps any other emotion we can feel.
Love is indeed another powerful emotion one which binds us together and protects us. It holds us close to one another and meets our need to belong to others. It moves us toward peace and in action against loss. Yet, anger is what motivates our intense passions and power to change. It is the power to turn pain into action. Anger can be healthy when it is used for intense purpose; to remove pain and suffering and protect and serve ourselves and others. I can imagine that all great social movements were born out of love, passion and just enough anger property directed to create and sustain action leading to enduring positive change.
I have built my life upon values that banish anger and promote peaceful resolution and yet I come to realize that anger is part of the spectrum of healthy emotion. I have also come to realize that anger is force to be reckoned with; a force that can be used for good instead of evil. Anger when strong enough can fuel the movement toward positive change. I would much rather rein and direct the power of anger toward effective growth than remain hurt and in pain over something I can do nothing about. I am quickly discovering that anger when properly harnessed can be far more effective and powerful than perhaps any other emotion we can feel.
Love is indeed another powerful emotion one which binds us together and protects us. It holds us close to one another and meets our need to belong to others. It moves us toward peace and in action against loss. Yet, anger is what motivates our intense passions and power to change. It is the power to turn pain into action. Anger can be healthy when it is used for intense purpose; to remove pain and suffering and protect and serve ourselves and others. I can imagine that all great social movements were born out of love, passion and just enough anger property directed to create and sustain action leading to enduring positive change.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Paying respect to life’s lessons
“I will always remember, I shall never forget. Today is the day I learned to appreciate life.”
Today is the anniversary of the day that changed my life not just once but twice.
9/11/01 - 8 years ago today I realized how precious life is and how fast those you love can be taken from you. I will never forget dropping to my knees, raising my hands in the air and pleading with God not to take someone I love away from me. As the tears rolled down my cheeks I choked on my words. My 4-year-old son stood watching me perplexed. Just moments earlier I had learned that my sister was not in Manhattan that day, she was in Washington D.C. After a frantic and anguished search for her I had spoken to her minutes before and she assured me that she was near the White House and FBI buildings and a safe distance from the Pentagon. Relieved I went back to listening to the news reports and praying for the people at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. My relief was short lived as the news broke that a missing airliner - we would later come to know as Flight 93 - was assumed to be high-jacked and headed toward Washington D.C. with a purposed destination likely to be the White House. The building and the surrounding area were being evacuated immediately. The details that follow are hard to recall but I remember perfectly what it felt like to hit my knees and pray in deperation as I did at that moment.
The next thing I remember clearly was picking up my older two children from school. As long as I live I won’t forget the look on my young son’s face or tone in his voice as he told his brother and sister with pure innocence and intensity, “those bad people – they took our airplanes – and they smashed them into our buildings – and that’s not nice.” I couldn’t have explained it better if I tried.
Round Two – New Lesson
9/11/02 - 7 years ago today I was with one of my dearest friends as my God daughter come into the world. The experience solidified a bond I will always have to this precious child, her mother and my appreciation for life. As I watch her grow into her own person with an incredible personality I am awed by the magnificence and uniqueness of each individual child. My heart is always with her as if she is part of me somehow. I suppose she is because she represents how precious and unique life is.
Today I remember and am humbled by the lessons I have learned; to respect life, appreciate time and understand loss.
Today is the anniversary of the day that changed my life not just once but twice.
9/11/01 - 8 years ago today I realized how precious life is and how fast those you love can be taken from you. I will never forget dropping to my knees, raising my hands in the air and pleading with God not to take someone I love away from me. As the tears rolled down my cheeks I choked on my words. My 4-year-old son stood watching me perplexed. Just moments earlier I had learned that my sister was not in Manhattan that day, she was in Washington D.C. After a frantic and anguished search for her I had spoken to her minutes before and she assured me that she was near the White House and FBI buildings and a safe distance from the Pentagon. Relieved I went back to listening to the news reports and praying for the people at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. My relief was short lived as the news broke that a missing airliner - we would later come to know as Flight 93 - was assumed to be high-jacked and headed toward Washington D.C. with a purposed destination likely to be the White House. The building and the surrounding area were being evacuated immediately. The details that follow are hard to recall but I remember perfectly what it felt like to hit my knees and pray in deperation as I did at that moment.
The next thing I remember clearly was picking up my older two children from school. As long as I live I won’t forget the look on my young son’s face or tone in his voice as he told his brother and sister with pure innocence and intensity, “those bad people – they took our airplanes – and they smashed them into our buildings – and that’s not nice.” I couldn’t have explained it better if I tried.
Round Two – New Lesson
9/11/02 - 7 years ago today I was with one of my dearest friends as my God daughter come into the world. The experience solidified a bond I will always have to this precious child, her mother and my appreciation for life. As I watch her grow into her own person with an incredible personality I am awed by the magnificence and uniqueness of each individual child. My heart is always with her as if she is part of me somehow. I suppose she is because she represents how precious and unique life is.
Today I remember and am humbled by the lessons I have learned; to respect life, appreciate time and understand loss.
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